


One Art

by The-wind-beneath-my-feet (a3i3)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Possibly Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2014-04-06
Packaged: 2018-01-18 08:46:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1422010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a3i3/pseuds/The-wind-beneath-my-feet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She just can’t stand this anymore.</p><p>“I don’t care about the price. Just make it stop”</p><p>"All right but remember Dearie, don't forget the price"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_''His beak is focussed; he is preoccupied, looking for something, something, something. Poor bird, he is obsessed!''_

_-Elizabeth Bishop_

Emma Swan thinks about Regina. Her hair, her smile (at Henry always), her sneer (at Snow always) and how she destroyed everything and yet... It feels like maybe she didn’t.

“I could’ve had a family”

“Yes but you have one now. Only losers pity themselves, Miss Swan”

The thing though is that they still could be one.  
Except…Except Regina has found him.  
She smiles at him and Emma hurts.  
It hurts and Emma doesn’t think about it, but when she sleeps at night she sees his hand around her elbow (guiding her, soothing her) and it hurts. It hurts so fucking much.

“Mom”

“Yes”

“Nothing...”

The worst thing though is that Regina doesn’t even know and Emma is sure that she doesn’t even care. She doesn’t even care.  
(Emma doesn’t know why but this thought hurts her the most)  
She doesn’t know that Emma goes to Granny’s at 8:00 every morning so that she could look at her. She doesn’t know that Emma thinks about Regina before going to bed, waking up, showering, and eating. She is everywhere and Emma cannot escape.

She knocked. She keeps knocking and banging and her hair’s wet from the rain and her eyes are red from the alcohol or crying, it doesn’t matter because _it just hurts_.

“Hello Dearie.”

“Make it stop.”  
Her head hurts, she got drunk when she saw Regina smiling at him, dancing with him, being happy with him. She was never that happy ever to see her. She never smiled at her like she smiles at him.  
She just can’t stand it anymore. She is not the one to make her happy. _She would never make her happy_. Sometimes, she concocts such scenarios (when it’s especially hurting or she is especially bored) where he dies suddenly and then Emma would comfort her and eventually she would fall in love with Emma just like Emma fell for her. But she knows that Regina once lost her true love, and it hurts to think that this man’s loss would hurt her the same, or even more. That man, he doesn’t even know her, Emma thinks, he doesn’t even know her like she does. He has seen Regina as a mother mourning her son, loving his son... he hasn’t seen Regina vicious and angry and ruthless. A part of Emma hopes that he never sees that... She can have that memory however cruel to herself.  
She just can’t stand this anymore.  
“I don’t care about the price. Just make it stop”


	2. The Art of Losing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The art of losing isn't hard to master.  
> Emma doesn't care.

Truthfully, Emma Swan had no idea how his son’s obnoxious, bossy mother became the source of Emma’s heartache. Maybe it were those moments, when she was soft. When her eyes would soften talking to Henry, so full of hope and fear.  
When she would be hopeful and try to hide it. Emma’s heart clenches just thinking about those moments. When she curled up to Emma in Neverland and told her that she misses Henry.  
Emma shakes her head and clears. She doesn’t need this anymore. She doesn’t need her anymore.

Emma remembers one of her foster sister was obsessed with falling in love and getting married. She was a pale, freckled Thirteen year old by the name Lily, she would always draw hearts and write the name of the boy she was in love with. He is going to become a scientist and I am going to become a teacher and he would come home at night and we would eat dinner together and play with our dog. She would state these things with such conviction that it was hard not to believer her. So Emma in all her seven years of naivety, would ask her but how do you know that he's going to become a scientist, what if he becomes a doctor (because these were the only two jobs Emma knew that people after going to school did), what if you like cats.

And Lily would reply very seriously, Emma, you don't understand. I know. My heart tells me.

Emma wants to call Lily wherever she is and tell her that she does knows now but she doesn't still understand.

“All right Dearie” because Gold just knows these things “but don’t forget your price”.  
He ushers her in and she goes inside his pawn shop which looks exactly the same as it used to and it's eerie.  
So what do you want?  
Just take her out of my heart.  
Gold chuckles and it gives goose bumps to Emma but she just crosses her arm and swallows the tears that are threatening to come out.  
Aah, but therein lies the problem Dearie. You just can’t do that.  
He says this so casually and Emma wants to smack him.  
So what options do we have now, mm?  
You are too noble to want him dead. No that’s not an option.  
He’s musing out loud or maybe he doesn’t know. Emma doesn’t look at him, she just keeps her arms crossed, just looks at the clock on his wall and just wills herself to stop feeling so much.  
This is quite a predicament that you have placed me in, Saviour  
This was a bad idea.  
Emma finally had enough. She got up, ready to walk out. What was she thinking anyways, this was just wishful thinking? She can’t won’t be able to get her out. She can’t. She will just have to live with this pit in her stomach and see her with him.  
Not so easily, Saviour.  
Gold says, when Emma has got up and turned her back to him.  
Sit down.  
She does because seriously, his voice gives her no other option.  
Emma wishes she could turn back time. She wishes she could go back to the pre-curse days, and just stare at her son’s other mom. She wishes Regina would just keep giving her glares and keep fighting with her (which she still does, oh she still does but it’s not the same because Regina then sees him and kisses him on the mouth as a greeting and Emma is not even in the picture) and then one day they kiss and it’s enough.  
Emma wishes for a lot of things though.  
But oh! The saviour, brought down on her knees by the Evil Queen. I just needed some time to process.  
Hmm let’s see what can be done. Okay!  
And he cackles. I have decided.  
What  
Tch tch, no need to ask so many questions Emma.  
Shut up. I just need her out of my system. Just give me a simple portion to forget her and I’ll be on my way.  
Oh Emma. He says. You don’t understand. This is the circle of love. You will be caught again in this maze and it will be the same on you all over again. You can’t escape.  
So what can I do?  
The question is what can you pay?  
Emma clenches her fist and closes her eyes and thinks of Henry’s safety, and Mary Margaret and David and Ruby and Granny and her and Him and Roland and she takes her deep breath.  
I am not willing to compromise on anyone’s safety. No one gets hurt.  
You have my word.  
Emma takes a deep breath and wishes again, that she was strong enough for this.  
Okay. Take whatever you want.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Suggestions are most welcome!


End file.
